In Kickboxing Class this morning, a fellow student said “My girlfriend said resolutions are out. Intentions are in.”
I yelled back, “That sounds like a back door to avoid failure!”
Don’t get me wrong.
Intentions have their place.
You can ask before a trip if you’re all on the same page by asking what you all want from the trip. Or before an important meeting, you can set intentions to ensure a positive outcome for all parties. Or you can set a theme or “intention” for the year, but that doesn’t require skipping the goals or habits you secretly desire.
Articles trending on “Why Resolutions Don’t Work” point to humans avoiding resolutions or goal setting because deep down, they don’t want to fail… yet again.
That’s just resignation plain and simple. Sound familiar?
Do you quit before you’ve even started?
Being allergic to goals won’t help you either.
Whether you fear failing at goals or not, goals are extremely valuable tools to manifest your greatest dreams.
Goals can also take the form of new habits you want to have.
A mentor of mine shares how commitment is doing what you said, long after the mood has left. Which begs the question?
How do you build lasting resolutions, goals, or habits that will stick?
3 Ways to Actually Build Lasting Habits
1. Less is More: Focus on 3 Goals Max for the Year
Typically, each year I take a full day retreat to reflect through the last year’s accomplishments, learnings, and lessons in details: through my Google Photo album, calendar events, and weekly journal where I jot down my wins/challenges/incomplete open cycles in depth.
I boil everything down to an annual overview with themes, then I break down my top 5 areas most important to me, into 5 habits each for a total of 25.
Some of them are things I need to maintain and already do, while others are new.
Typically, I achieve anywhere from 60-80% of my goals annually.
However, truth be told, I felt bad for the 20-40% I didn’t do. I expected myself as a high achiever to do at least 80-100%.
This year, thanks to a business mentor, instead of 25 things under 5 categories, I simply have 3 goals for the year. Period.
1 is a health habit (bedtime by 9:30pm) and the other 2 are goals in the realm of my business and our finances.
The load lifted in my mind with merely 3 goals is worth all of it. The process required brainstorming in 8 areas about 8 goal ideas. Then you narrow it down to your top 10 goals for all areas. Then down to just 3 goals.
With 3 goals, you can go deep, narrow and focused like a laser beam instead of scattering your energy everywhere.
2. Consistency Doesn’t Equal Progress
Being consistent doesn’t mean noticing immediate signs of progress in the first 21, or 30, or 67 days.
No! Nothing may change at all.
Most jump too far too fast with a new goal that you can’t be consistent with. Then you quit from disappointment or resignation.
Consider stage 1 of consistency means getting used to it everyday. This could take 67 to 6 months.
Once 60-70 days passes, now you’re ready for stage 2 where you might notice or enjoy progress from taking consistent daily habits.
But to expect progress right away isn’t realistic and focuses on the wrong outcome.
Instead, and if you’re reading this right now, you may be at Stage 0.
No need to look toward Stage 2 of noticing progress. Simply focus on consistency as getting used to one habit daily no matter how small the action is.
3. Tiny Counts
Many habits fail because the daily action is too big. When things are well, it’s easy, but when the unexpected hits–that action can suddenly occur terribly difficult.
Instead, break down the habit into it’s tiniest element of a tiny thing you know you can do every day.
Do you want to improve on exercise? Count 1 push up a day.
Healthier eating? Cutting a mere 10 calories counts.
Meditate more? Count 1 minute of meditation–no joke.
What will happen is some days it will be much more, but on your hard days, the tiny thing will be enough.
That tiny action allows you keep your streak to build momentum.
That tiny action helps you trust yourself to keep going.
That tiny action motivates you to keep going especially when you don’t want to do it.
That tiny action is enough to tick the box “done.”
Tiny counts.
Even if you’re traveling or your kid suddenly has a meltdown, or you have to caretake a parent unexpectedly, that tiny action is easily accomplishable.
For me, if it’s to master copywriting, just do 10 minutes of writing or a tiny word count. For my songwriting, it’s to literally just “touch the piano” daily playing or singing at least one song.
What About You? Creating Momentum
In the book Compound Effect, it shows how tiny actions done consistently after 18 months actives the magical Compound Effect for exponential growth.
For example, take 3 people doing one slight change a day of losing weight. Person A cuts 10 calories, Person B keeps the same amount of calories, and Person C adds 10 calories per day.
By the end of month 18, from just that one tiny action for Person A cutting 10 calories a day, you’ve lost lots of weight that stays off and you crave the gym instead of a cookie.
For Person B, nothing happens after 2 years and you’re stuck with the same body and same life feeling stagnant and stuck.
For person C, adding 10 extra calories consistently over time has you suddenly you’re diagnosed with Pre-Diabetes, and you’re spouse no longer attracted to you talks about leaving, while you feel more depressed.
While these are examples, you’ve likely met someone in real life with each these scenarios you’ve met.
Have momentum give you a visit when you you do all three things: one goal, broken into a tiny action, consistent each day.
Now What?
Exponential results from the outside look seemingly “overnight” or “out of nowhere.” But it was tiny actions, that were consistent over more than just 21 or 60 days, turbo charged by the simplicity of focusing on a few goals that was the source of this success.
Consider your daily choices you make every moment make or break what you care most about in the long haul. It may not show up tomorrow or even in 18 months down the road.
But if you trust in the unknown that your focused, tiny, consistent actions are working, watch and wonder at the pay off.
When I meditated my first 10 day silent meditation Vipassana course, 10 hours a day for a total of 100 hours per retreat–my legs screamed and I was so proud to simply survive.
But I kept up at daily meditation building up from daily meditation of any length to an hour a day consistently, to now almost 2 hours a day.
By the time I did my 3rd 10 day silent meditation retreat, I was surprised how easy it was. My legs were calm.
Daily, consistent meditation impacted my focus, business productivity, and most of all my relationships with my teenage son and marriage to be more connected, navigating conflict with more peace, and overall fulfillment.
I challenge you: Brainstorm in the areas of health, relationships, career/business, wealth, leisure/lifestyle, spirituality, or any other area goals you have. Narrow that mighty list down to ten goals, then again down to three goals to focus on for the year.
Then come up with one tiny action you know you can consistently do come rain or sunshine every day for well over 60 days, even up to a year. This is your winnable resolution.
Sure, add some intention as spice, but the crux of this goal being realized is your resolve.
Less is more. Consistency daily. Tiny counts.
Then watch the magic and miracles unfold.
Reply back: What’s one tiny action to build a new habit or drop a bad habit you’ll take on this year?
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Don’t want to go it alone?
Momentum doesn’t come from pushing harder. It comes from resolving what’s been draining your energy.
The free 5-Day GET IT DONE Challenge guides you through calm, embodied action so you can complete what matters—with focus, confidence, and follow-through that actually sticks.
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Anna Choi is a Black Belt Business Mom, 2x TEDx speaker, International Bestselling Author, and Founder of SolJoy, where she guides leading, high-achieving leaders and mompreneurs to look and feel 20 years younger through martial arts, movement, and mindfulness.
Coaching NFL players, Harvard neuroscientists, 7 figure CEOs, and platinum artists, she distills ancient wisdom into modern day somatic mindfulness practices for thousands of students to detox their mind and body, focus their energy, and achieve self mastery through their signature Somatic Mindfulness Certification.
A second generation Korean American social entrepreneur, Anna founded the non profit Peaceful Warriors funding community leader scholarships for wellness training programs.
She loves cooking vegan Korean meals, singing and songwriting on the piano, hip hop dancing, or relaxing in nature. Her proudest accomplishment is water birthing her son Eli, now a teen. She’s married to her sweetheart Leo of 21 years living in Poulsbo, WA with their cat Max. If you want to look and feel 20 years younger, book a discovery call here.
