This morning, I had a conversation with a fellow mom of a teenager. “I can feel it. Just walking into the grocery store, or at work, there’s so much much stress.
Can’t get too weighed down by all that’s happening or else I won’t function,” as she nervously laughed. Her exhausted, anxious, and fearful face said it all.
We need hope, optimism, and action to surf the wave of chaos. That’s hard to do when you’re not grounded. What we see as attacks on the outside stem from hurt on the inside.
How do you find peace under pressure? How do you lead beyond fear?
Anytime you feel pain or fear, it’s the perfect time to practice equanimity. Often a practice most leaders avoid, equanimity is daily practice that helps you build peace within.
What is Equanimity?
Equanimity is non-reactivity with a balanced mind.While many strive for this quality, few live it. Why? Equanimity goes against our brain’s wiring to survive through reaction. Yet it’s possible to tame the mind.
After 200 hours of meditation in 20 days through 10 day Vipassana Retreats, I’ve experienced these
3 Ways to to Train Your Brain for Equanimity:
- Awareness: When stressed about your day, do you pay attention to what’s going on within your body?
Most people try to fix their stress and overwhelm through doing.
Doing exercise.
Doing more work.
Focusing on family affairs.
Drinking some alcohol or watching netflix.
Playing games on their phone.
Scrolling through news or socials.
Rarely do people, face the feeling they are avoiding and look within themself. When you feel stress, pain, anger, overwhelm, attachment–notice if you are reacting. Pause and simply ask inside “Am I reacting right now?”
If you’re like most of humanity, 99.9% of the time, the answer will likely be yes. That’s when our other friend comes in.
2. Physical Sensations: Once you notice and are aware you’re reacting, take a moment to then feel inside.
You can name the emotion and then ask yourself “Where is that emotion located in my body?” You might feel more physical sensation in your head, neck, shoulders, back, chest, or gut.
Then simply observe the physical sensations. That’s it. Nothing else. Just feel the physical sensation such as throbbing, searing sensation, prickliness, itchiness, tingliness, denseness, or numbness.
Watch your breath, without altering it, as you feel the physical sensations. Notice if the breath is shallow, fast, deep, or slow.
If you continue breathing long enough, eventually you’ll notice a shift in the physical sensation to somewhere in the body. Perhaps it’s more loud, it quiets down, dissolves, moves around. Doesn’t matter.
Simply notice the impermanence of these physical sensations we are so quick to drown out through doing and fixing it. You will feel more conscious, grounded, and present.
Feel body sensations, not emotions. Rather than thinking of emotions, practice feeling the body sensations of emotions. Emotions are reactions labeled by the ego that one cannot escape. Human beings are designed to react and emotions are part of our wiring.
Next time emotions arise, focus on the energy or physical sensations of the emotion. Is it itchy? Burning? Tingly?
This will grow your ability to find peace in any chaos.
3. Action, not Reaction. Don’t let fears of what you expect to happen paralyze your response ability to take action now. Fear creates the real enemy of complacent, hopeless action. There is only now.
Notice what thoughts you have. Do they build the future you want or cause more suffering? If the latter, take action for what you want in the world. What you do now creates the future you want.
You are not your thoughts and emotions. You have thoughts and emotions. The source of the feelings of discomfort is actually an expectation to feel something other than what you’re actually feeling. By allowing the energy of the feeling you’re having 100% without resisting, fixing, or suppressing it, you can then be free to choose another feeling that empowers you.
Resources
- I highly recommend the nonprofit’s Braver Angels “Depolarizing Within” free online course.You have to fight the “othering” of the other side and have courage to understand than be in an echo chamber.
- NLP’s Hoonopono is a forgiveness exercise you can listen to on a daily basis to clear out whatever emotional baggage lurks inside emotionally and clear it out.
- Practice Naming Your Emotions. In the moment of stress, practice saying inside, out loud to yourself, or who you’re with, “I feel [emotion] right now.” Learn the NOW approach to master feeling body sensations through our ALIVE Training.
Next Steps
Your equanimity grows when you accept reality, feel all your body sensations, and take action. Now more than ever, equanimity can be an anchor to center yourself in any chaos.
Start where you are. Even taking a few moments being aware of your body sensations will go a long way. With consistent practice, your equanimity will strengthen as a leader. You’ll stay more grounded, clear and calm under pressure, and find peace within.
👇 Comment below: On a scale of 1-10, how equanimous do you feel you are in general? How about right now? What can you practice to grow your equanimity?
Take the Next Step
Take the 5 Day Boost Your Energy Challenge here.
#equanimity #emotionalresilience #emotionalintelligence
—
Anna Choi is an Author, TEDx speaker, and Founder of SolJoy, where she helps female founders and high-performing leaders 40+ feel more vitality to look and feel 20 years younger.
At 40, she became a Taekwondo Black Belt, Certified Qigong Energy Master, and Performance Artivist teaching thousands of global students—from 7 figure CEOs, NFL players, Harvard neuroscientists, and platinum artists to King County government employees, teachers, parents, and students. She distills ancient wisdom into modern day somatic practices of movement, mindfulness, and meditation.
She loves cooking plant based Korean meals, singing and songwriting on the piano, hip hop dancing, or relaxing in nature. Her proudest accomplishment is water birthing her son Eli, now a teen. She’s married to her sweetheart Leo of 21 years living off Miller Bay in Poulsbo, WA with their cat Max.
If you want to look and feel 20 years younger, book a discovery call here.
